Free, Real Ouija Boards Are Usually Very Dangerous
Written by Ouija on March 23rd, 2008From time to time you’ll be approached by a stranger in the street offering you an ouija board for free. Typically this person will have serious mental problems. Typically the ouija board will be possessed by more spirits than the average haunted house. Accepting such a “gift” is basically suicide. You’ll take it home, put it on the table and immediately your mom will run in screaming saying that she’s just seen Adolf Hitler’s disembodied head in the microwave.
If you must take the ouija board, then make sure you disinfect it with some toilet bleach. According to some pioneering research from Stanford University, toilet breach reacts with the chemical agent that makes ghosts evil and breaks it down, rendering the ghoul no more sinister than Casper.
Of course you could always accept the Ouija Board and put it in your nasty neighbour’s mailbox. Just make sure you don’t leave any fingerprints whilst planting it there, as there are strict federal laws against such acts throughout America. This is a God fearing nation after all and it’s our duty as citizens to eliminate the Devil from the earth.
