Ouija Board’s At Easter - The Devil (I.E Satan) Will Appear And Possess Your Mind and Soul.
Written by Ouija on March 23rd, 2008The devil is always trying to win the war against God. Of course, he can never win the Battle as God has already condemned him and his Demons to hell. Nevertheless Satan wants you to try the Ouija Board at Easter just to mock the resurrection of the Lord. If you try the Ouija Board at this time of the year, be very careful. Never smoke cigarettes whilst you are close to the Ouija board. As Satan is flammable. And he will be waiting only several yards behind you as you attempt to play the game.
You don’t want to burn down your house now do you?
If you see any of your relatives attempting to play the Ouija board at this time of year, run up to them, drag them by the hair to the toilet and flush their head repeatedly. Inform them about the ways of the Lord. Inform them of the everlasting Torments of Hell that awaits anyone dumb enough to play the board at this time of year.
Rumor has it that President George Bush attempted the Ouija Board one Easter and Satan removed half of his brain and sold it to Soviet Russia. Apparently he’s still trying to get it back from them. He checks Vladmir Putin’s Ebay listings every night, just to ensure that he isn’t trying to resell it at a premium.
Remember kids, demonic possessions are real. And they aren’t fun. Domesticated animals, being pure of heart will attack you on sight if your head’s owned by Satan.
March 27th, 2008 at 6:18 am
Heh, heh, heh. I think you may want to check the wording in your poorly relayed “war”/”battle” analogy. Seems Satan gets to win quite a few “battles”. The “war” however is YHWH’s to win.
How very “Christian” of you to suggest violence as the way to stop relatives(no less) from using the oujia, then tell them about the Lord.
While pretty low-brow, I sincerely hope this was an attempt at humor. If not, well, that just makes it funnier.