Never ask the Ouija Board these questions
- Who would win in a girly fist-fight, Christ or Satan?
- Could you make yourself known by burning down my entire block?
- Is it righteous to fart on the unconscious? What would Satan say?
- Am I going to hell for deliberately farting during funeral services?
- Why the hell is my mother so hairy? Could you please tell her to shave? She’s beginning to scare the neighbours?
- Why does my butt bleed when I try to take a crap?
- Why is life completely devoid of meaning?
- Could you please show me pictures of Dick Cheney butt-naked? Please etch these images into my mind’s eye for all eternity!
- Satan, would you like to come to bed with me?
- When I die could you please tell my family that I hate them all and that I’m glad to be rid of them?
- When exactly is the world going to end? Will I be sent to hell if I’m caught pleasuring myself the moment all hell breaks loose?
- Could you please provide me with a list of all of the ex-presidents Satan has slept with?
- Is Satan really that gay? If so, is this the reason God hates gayness so much?
- I want to die right now, is it possible you could send the Grim Reaper to my door ASAP?
- Could you give (person A) a pecker sore on behalf of the Westboro Baptist Church?
Create your own world religion