Radiohead’s Thom Yorke Wrote The Lyrics To OK Computer With An Ouija Board

In a sensational interview with the NME, Radiohead’s lead singer Thom Yorke announced that he wrote the lyrics to the “OK Computer” album during an extended Ouija Board session.

“Letters just kept coming out from everywhere. None of the sentences made any sense at first. We kept getting the same line “Kill Phil, kill the bald one” over and over again. It was hard to take serious. But we were in such a rut at the time that we had to use everything it gave us. I could have swore that it was Kurt Cobain at the other side of the Ouija. The lyrics were really that bad. And to think that the ones that actually appear on the album are the cream of the crop”.

Yorke is renowned for his tendency to dabble in the occult. During the Pablo Honey tour of 1993 he once summoned a goblin in Cork, South Ireland who apparently traveled to the outskirts of the town and burnt down a barn. The singer was sentenced to a month in jail, during which time he converted to Christianity.

“I’ve long since turned my back on the Devil. I’m with Jesus now. In fact our next album is gonna be called ‘Everything Richard Dawkins Says Is A Pile of Old Balls’.”

Yorke now apparently spends his weekends preaching in Cambridge to bemused shoppers. “I’d rather we never sold another record if I could claim a lamb for Christ. We’re gonna record our next album in Texas, our new spiritual home. We need to be around those who actually have a chance of entering Heaven. Let’s face it, Britain is full of wicked anti-war lefties. I used to hate them all. But now by the grace of God, I love them even through their absent mindedness.”